Befriending Anxiety: Understanding Its Purpose

Anxiety often feels like an unwelcome intruder, but it serves an important purpose: to keep us safe. When we reframe our relationship with anxiety, we can learn to view it as a concerned friend rather than an enemy. This shift in perspective can be transformative, allowing us to navigate our fears with greater clarity and understanding.

Understanding Anxiety as a Protective Mechanism

Anxiety is rooted in our evolutionary history. It developed as a survival mechanism, alerting us to potential dangers. While we no longer face threats like dinosaurs, our brains are still wired to respond to perceived risks. This means that while some triggers may be exaggerated, others may point to real concerns. By acknowledging this, we can better engage with our anxiety.

Talking to Your Anxiety

Instead of suppressing your anxiety, try befriending it. Engage in an inner dialogue as though you’re conversing with a friend who is genuinely concerned about your well-being. Ask yourself:

- What is this anxiety trying to tell me?
- Is it responding to a real threat, or is it overestimating the risk?

By approaching your anxiety with curiosity, you can assess whether it’s rooted in reality or a remnant of our primitive survival instincts.

Reassuring Your Anxiety

Once you've identified the source of your anxiety, you will be able to be informed about how to proceed. If there is a risk, then you will be able to take steps to move towards safety. If you are safe, and the anxiety is overestimating risk, then it’s crucial to reassure the anxiety that you are safe. Simple affirmations like “I am safe” can be powerful. Connect with the evidence that supports your safety in that moment—whether it’s the security of your surroundings or the presence of supportive people in your life.

Grounding Yourself in the Present

After affirming your safety, engage in strategies to calm your nervous system. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises can help centre you in the present moment. These practices not only alleviate anxiety but also reinforce the message that you are indeed safe.

The Power of Acceptance

Many people believe that suppressing anxiety is the best way to control it. However, this often leads to increased feelings of fear and tension. Instead, allow your anxiety to express itself. Let it voice its concerns so you can better understand and evaluate the situation. This acceptance can lead to greater emotional resilience and a deeper understanding of yourself.

Conclusion

Befriending your anxiety is about understanding its purpose and learning to communicate with it. By acknowledging anxiety as a protective mechanism, reassuring it of your safety, and grounding yourself in the present, you can transform your relationship with this emotion. Remember, anxiety is not your enemy; it’s a part of you that, when understood, can guide you toward greater self-awareness and peace.

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Catching Anxiety and Engaging It Early

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Understanding Anxiety and the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn Response: Taking Control in a Healthy Way